I dare you not to add Cannibal Holocaust (the original Blair Witch?) to your Netflix queueueue. (via here)

Terrible Twos added to Lollapalooza? Wait…there’s another Terrible Two’s? That’s dumb. Fuck those posers.

Here’s something I wrote on Monday but never had time to click the goddamn “Publish” button because my job is, allegedly, serious business and I shouldn’t have any interests other than being here around the clock wishing I had majored in something real in college:

Even though I’m going to get called out for still liking something from 2002, The Faint tops my list of Bands I Dig But Have Not Seen Live. Their last time through Detroit, they sold out The Majestic with TV On The Radio…but I was too late getting tickets. I remember it was a rainy night. I parked blocks away and sloshed through the puddles, all the while my heart fluttered with excitement. When I finally made it to the door, the burly STAFFman crushed my dreams when he barked “Sold Out!”. Was there a tear mixed in with the rain that ran down my cheek that fateful night? I’ll never tell.
Anyway, they’ve left Detroit off their upcoming tour because the band hails from Nebraska — and if there’s anything that scares Nebraskans, it’s Detroit’s lack of corn. Another Friday in Chicago, then. I wonder if they have tolerable jobs there…

I only saw half of what I wanted to last night. 40,000 Tiger fans took all the parking spots around The Fillmore, so I skipped paying $40 to park during Holy Fuck’s set. The Magic Stick show started somewhere around 4pm, so when I walked in there a little before nine I had already missed Mobius Band and part of Black Kids‘ set.

I’m curious to know how Black Kids got hyped so much. Where did this start? Why? I blame the internet. A lot of their songs are good, I’m just not sure they can sing. Live they remind me of Architecture In Helsinki / I’m From Barcelona / Los Campesinos! because they use that Maybe If More Than Three Of Us Sing At The Same Time Someone Will Eventually Hit The Right Note style of yelling. Honestly, the couple songs from their original demo last year sounded good, and so did their current single — so I think this is just a case of a band getting too much attention before they were ready, rushing out some songs and touring before they could practice. The way attention shifts in the music bizzzz, I’m not sure you can blame them.

Cut Copy delivered. How a band from Melbourne can show up in Detroit and knock out jokes about Kwame and Bill Laimbeer, I’ll never understand. If I was touring Australia, I’d say something dumb about a kangaroo, Foster’s and quote Crocodile Dundee. Then maybe chant USA! USA! USA!, so I give them credit for being more intelligent than I am. The crowd was great — dancing, jumping, spraying drinks through the air, and then the sprinklers came on and started showering everyone with blood. Wait. No, that’s the beginning of Blade. There was no blood last night. Only funz. Their set was too short though. Not sure if the afterparty thing that I didn’t stick around for was the cause of that — but if they really do only play 50 minutes sets, they should work on extending that.

So uh…anyone else trying to squeeze in Holy Fuck at The Fillmore before Mobius Band, Black Kids and Cut Copy at The Stick? And then Holy Fuck’s DJ set at The Majestic? Today’s Friday, right?

If you read this site strictly via some sort of feed, you may have missed the new Pas/Cal track I added to the last post. “You Were Too Old For Me” — six minutes long, it’s been on repeat since sometime over the weekend. Truly outstanding. I have a friend who refuses to listen to Of Montreal because “they sound like a Pas/Cal rip-off,” which kind of funny but, at the same time, a totally acceptable comment. I dunno…it may be because it’s new, but at the moment this is my favorite Pas/Cal track. And those “Oooooh’s” that come in at 5:11 — they make my nipples hard.

It looks like Nick Cave and My Bloody Valentine have teamed up to get me to Chicago for another long weekend in September. This is very nice of them, knowing they wouldn’t be playing Detroit, to coordinate their tours into something convenient for me.

In “I Don’t Have Any Money News,” remember when I said I was going to see Nine Inch Nails with Does It Offend You, Yeah?? I attempted to purchase the non-ticketmaster, discounted pre-sale tickets from the NIN website yesterday…and a pair came to $140. I have nine dollars until the 15th of this month. What the fuck, Trent? Are you rolling the cost of all that free music into your ticket prices? I will no longer be attending this event.

Both Foals and The Teenagers shows are reviewed here. And I’d like to call bullshit on whoever answered the Magic Stick phone for the third time in that review. The Kills went on at 10:15 last night (and played to the biggest crowd I’ve seen on a Wednesday night in a while). Nothing ever ALWAYS happens at the same time every night.

Watching Majors scramble for money is HAlarious.

ManBabies. May 1 is creeping me out.

Have I given you anything new lately? I don’t think so. Sometimes I assume everyone else reads/listens to as much shit as I do, and then I try to have a conversation about The Last Shadow Puppets and you look at me like I’ve just invented a band. I forget some of you have lives and jobs and may have missed their “Knights of Cydonia“-esque debut video. Well, it turns out the album is quality — sort of Arctic Monkeys meets The Coral. Maybe. Here’s another track and some other stuff I’ve been listening to, that I assume you’ve already heard. But maybe not.

The Last Shadow Puppets - Separate And Ever Deadly (from The Age of the Understatement)
The Islands - The Arm (from Arm’s Way)
Clinic - The Witch (from Do It)
Cut Copy - So Haunted (from In Ghost Colours and playing The Magic Stick this Thursday)
The Kills - Last Day of Magic (from Midnight Boom, playing The Magic Stick Wednesday)
Heavy D & The Boyz - Now That We Found Love (from Heavy Hitz)
The Presets - Talk Like That (from Apocalypso)
The Dresden Dolls - Dear Jenny (from No, Virginia)
The Black Ghosts - Anyway You Chose To Give It (over a year old, I know. sometimes I’m slow)

UPDATE: Pas/Cal - You Were Too Old For Me (from I Was Raised on Matthew, Mark, Luke & Laura)

As always, if there’s a track up here that some lawyer feels shouldn’t be…I don’t care.

Coming in at number five on The Music SociaList, under giants like MySpace, Last.FM and DetroitCity.com(?) is WebVomit. As pleased as I am to have something else to fuel my ego, I am downright outraged to have to share that slot it with this jerkoff gossip queen.

Look. Someone made me a shirt.

I noticed an August 2 date for The Go! Team at The Magic Stick, which means the On Our Way To A Real City booking has begun. This is where a lot of the Lollapalooza bands decide to squeeze in a Detroit date since they’re in the area and rarely/never play here. I wasn’t that impressed with Lollapalooza’s “big acts” this year, so I’m waiting to see how things unfold. Chromeo, Battles, Yeasayer, Santogold, Uffie — depending on whether some of these “smaller” bands decide to play Detroit or play bar-size Chicago afterparties, that will determine where I spend my weekend.

While browsing through the list of albums that were uploaded to a bit torrent site yesterday, I came across one titled Satan Gets An Abortion by a band called My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit. No, I didn’t download it…but check out the tracklisting.

Still more evidence that Crank 2 is going to rule.

Look at all those curse words. Your employer has now blocked WebVomit due to vulgarity and repeated misuse of the English language. If your life was an emoticon it would be the frowny angry one. But don’t fret, Frowny Angry Guy/Gal, I will let you in to see M.I.A and Holy Fuck at The Fillmore on Thursday free of charge. And you can even bring a friend, perhaps Smiley Winky Guy/Gal or Tongue Sticky-Outy Guy/Gal.

I have gone mental. Hold on.

Alright, I’ve got two guestlist spots for Thursday’s M.I.A. / Holy Fuck show at The Fillmore. I’m assuming you know who both these acts are because they’ve been through town quite a few times and are now playing a 2000+ capacity venue. Tickets are normally $25, which means winning a pair of guestlist spots will be the most valuable thing you’ve ever temporarily had in your possession. My e-mail is in the left sidebar. Use it to let me know you’d like to attend and urine you’re in.

That’s Holy Fuck’s “Lovely Allen”. I was also going to post this M.I.A. video but it’s not embed-able. It’s also not the official video, but slow motion bullets are cool. They remind me of that movie where Keanu Reeves wears a trenchcoat and makes sweet love to Patrick Swayze on the beach. Mmmm…Swayze.

Alright, how was Teenagers? Foals? Ghostland Observatory? After everything I said about Ghostland, I ended up missing them. If I go into too much detail, I’ll start crying and shaking, but I will say this — if you ever need to break a man, make him live in an airport for 16 hours, in a terminal where the bars close at 10pm…and the flight doesn’t end up leaving until 6am. That’s how my trip ended. It started out by having dinner with Famke Janssen, Sean Lennon and Jonathan Demme…not that you’re ever going to believe me. Let’s see what I missed while I was gone.

Nine Inch Nails has gotten Crystal Castles, Deerhunter and Does It Offend You, Yeah? to open their upcoming shows. I’ll say it again — Trent Reznor is a smart fellow. By grabbing some of the hottest bands in (not)rock to play with him, he’s turned a middle-aged man’s tour into a relevant event. DIOYY? will play the Palace show, and I’ll be there because of that.

Another Justice video that’s less about the music and more about the visuals smashing things.

Ah…good to see the upstairs floor of Park Bar is coming together. This used to be a nightly stop when I lived a block away and, if the owner accomplishes the three/four-level bar he has planned, it will have HUGE potential. Now if there was only a secure place to park in that area…

Anyone else bored with the new Wolf Parade? I downloaded it before I left town on Tuesday and only listened once. I only liked “California Dreamer,” “An Animal In Your Care” and “Kissing the Beehive”. But then again, weren’t there only three outstanding tracks on the last one as well?

On the other hand, I got an e-mail that same day that just said “album of the year. santogold.” I wouldn’t go that far, but listen to “LES Artistes” here and listen to “Say Aha” here, since the other three MySpace tracks are remixes. I hate that shit. Do artists really win over new fans by posting remixes and demos on their MySpace player? Because if I didn’t know any better, I’d think they had one good song and the rest were crap.

If you were to ask me what schizophrenia sounds like, my answer would be “a 51-track live Fiery Furnaces album”.

Speaking of shit I’m not paying for, the announcement of charges/bail date for the man behind OiNK has been postponed yet again. Maybe that site wasn’t breaking as many laws as the propaganda agencies (RIAA, IFPI, BPI) claimed.

File share all you want in Arizona.

So…if you tried to purchase Radiohead tickets through Ticketmaster, you were told the show was sold out — that no more tickets were available. You were then directed to TicketsNow where Radiohead tickets were being scalped at insane prices. Guess who owns TicketsNow. Ticketmaster does. That means they were selling their own tickets through their scalping site instead of their general sale site to profit as much as possible. Somehow it’s all legal or something because nobody really gives a shit enough to do something about it. Why artists, especially Radiohead, a band who claims they won’t play Michigan because all of our venues are too corporate, is still dealing with Ticketmaster is beyond me. I’d give you my Radiohead Is As Much Of A Cash Grab Band As U2 Is conspiracy theory, but some of you would cry.

More evidence Crank 2 is going to rule.